If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
