im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
