Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
