Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
