Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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