is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
