He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
