You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
