Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
