would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
