Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
