Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
