Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
