but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
