what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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