Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
