I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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