People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
