I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The struggles of a small town man whore
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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