i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
