Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She even gives head with a lisp.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
