woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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