I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
