Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
