They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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