She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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