Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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