you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
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