I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
