I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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