My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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