There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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