i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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