he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
