When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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