i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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