he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
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