3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
