oh god the rape fog is back!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
