think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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