yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
