Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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