Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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