I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
