Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize