The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
