I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
