so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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