i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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