Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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