a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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