The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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