What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
