i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
