plz talk dirty to me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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