Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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