just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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