I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
