I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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