I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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