Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
