he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
