i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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