Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
