I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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