So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
